the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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