I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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