All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
is wine microwaveable?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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