she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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