I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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