It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
tell me about the eggs
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
