The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Oh god it's open bar.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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