I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
