The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
