Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
