I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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