yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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