remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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