I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
