I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
