Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
