porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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