we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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