Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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