We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
