My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
