sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
