you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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