capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
