Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
