My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
