my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
