Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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