we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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