roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
