just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
