Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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