I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
