Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
