I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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