It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
