end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
