If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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