Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize