well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's shark week go big or go home
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
