i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my vag is so smooth its legendary
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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