1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
