Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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