i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
