so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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