How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
