I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
