we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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