Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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