Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Come on in and take your pants off
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