So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
