I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
